Better than to Burn
Clarice Lispector (1925-1977)
1 She was tall, strong and hairy. Mother Clara had a dark stubble and deep black eyes.
2 She had entered the convent at the will of her family: they wished to see her sheltered in the bosom of God. She obeyed.
3 She fulfilled her obligations without complaint. She had many obligations. And then there were prayers. She prayed with fervor.
4 And she went to confession everyday. Everyday the white host that crumbled apart in one's mouth.
5 But she began to get tired of living only among women. Women, women, women. She chose a friend as a confidante. She told her that she couldn't stand it any more. Her friend counseled her. "Mortify the body."
6 So she began to sleep on cold flagstones. And whipped herself with a scourge. It was useless. She just caught
terrible colds and got all covered with welts.
terrible colds and got all covered with welts.
7 She confessed to the priest. He ordered her to continue to mortify herself. She continued.
8 But at the moment in which the priest touched her mouth to give her the host, she had to control herself in order not
to bite his hand. He noticed this, but said nothing. There was a silent pact between them. Both mortified themselves.
to bite his hand. He noticed this, but said nothing. There was a silent pact between them. Both mortified themselves.
9 " She could no longer look at the almost naked body of Christ.
10 Mother Clara was of Portuguese descent, and, in secret, she shaved her hairy legs. If they found out, would she get
it! She told the priest. He turned pale. He guessed that her legs were strong, well-shaped.
it! She told the priest. He turned pale. He guessed that her legs were strong, well-shaped.
11 On day at mealtime she began to cry. She didn't tell anybody why. She herself didn't know why she was crying.
12 And from then on she lived a life of weeping. In spite
of eating little, she got fat. She had dark shadows under
her eyes. Her voice, when she sang in church, was that of a contralto.
of eating little, she got fat. She had dark shadows under
her eyes. Her voice, when she sang in church, was that of a contralto.
13 Until finally she said to the priest in the confessional, "I
can't stand it any longer, I swear I can't stand it any longer."
can't stand it any longer, I swear I can't stand it any longer."
14 He said meditatively, "It is better not to marry. But it is better to marry than to burn."
15 She asked for an audience with her superior. Her
superior reprimanded her severely. But Mother Clara was firm: she wanted to leave the convent, she wanted to find a man, she wanted to get married. Her superior asked her to wait one year. She answered that she couldn't, that it had to be now.
superior reprimanded her severely. But Mother Clara was firm: she wanted to leave the convent, she wanted to find a man, she wanted to get married. Her superior asked her to wait one year. She answered that she couldn't, that it had to be now.
16 She packed what little she had and made her get-away. She went to live in a pension for girls.
17 Her black hair grew opulent. And she seemed all up in
the air and dreamy. She paid for her room and board with the money her family sent her. The family didn't accept what she had done. But they couldn't let her die of hunger.
the air and dreamy. She paid for her room and board with the money her family sent her. The family didn't accept what she had done. But they couldn't let her die of hunger.
18 She made her own little dresses of cheap material on a sewing machine that a young girl at the pension lent her. Dresses with long sleeves, modestly cut, below the knees.
19 And nothing happened. She prayed a great deal that
something good would come to her. In the form of a man.
something good would come to her. In the form of a man.
20 And it really did.
21 She went to the snack bar to buy a bottle of mineral
water. The owner was a dapper Portuguese who had
become enchanted by Clara's discreet manners. He didn't
want her to pay for the mineral water. She blushed.
water. The owner was a dapper Portuguese who had
become enchanted by Clara's discreet manners. He didn't
want her to pay for the mineral water. She blushed.
22 But she came back the next day to buy some coconut
sweets. Again she didn't pay. The Portuguese, Antonio by name,
sweets. Again she didn't pay. The Portuguese, Antonio by name,
called forth his courage and invited her to the movies. She refused.
23 The next day she returned to have a cup of coffee. Antonio promised her that he wouldn't touch her if they
went to the movies together. She accepted.
went to the movies together. She accepted.
24 They went to see a movie, but they didn't pay any
attention to it. At the end of the movie they were holding hands.
attention to it. At the end of the movie they were holding hands.
25 Soon they were meeting for long walks. She with her
black hair. He in a suit and tie.
black hair. He in a suit and tie.
26 Then one night he said to her, "I'm rich, the snack bar earns enough for us to get married. Do you want to?"
27 "I want to," she answered gravely.
28 They got married in church and also had a civil ceremony. At the church the priest who had told her it was better to marry than to burn was the one who united them. They went to spend their passionate honeymoon in Lisbon.
Antonio left his snack bar in the care of his brother.
Antonio left his snack bar in the care of his brother.
29 She came back pregnant, satisfied, happy.
30 They had four children, all of them boys, all of them hairy.
Background Information:
Clarice Lispector (1925-1977) was born of Russian parents in the Ukraine, but two months after her birth, her family moved to Brazil. As a teenager growing up in Rio de Janeiro, she began to write stories and plays while embarking on an ambitious study of contemporary Brazilian and European literature, particularly the fiction of Katherine Mansfield and Virginia Woolf, with whom she felt a special affinity, and the existentialist philosophy of Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre. In 1944 she graduated from the National Faculty of Law and worked as one of Brazil's first woman journalist. Shortly afterward Lispector married a diplomat and published her first novel, Close to the Savage Heart(1944).
Living in Europe and the United States with her husband from 1945 to 1969, Lispector wrote many stories and novels in which she explored her preoccupation with existential themes. Literary critics singled out the stories in Family 77es(1960), from this story. Lispector created a world both miraculous and familiar, dramatizing the instinct for survival that directs the thoughts and actions of every living creature. As the critic Giovanni Pontiero has observed, Lispector's stories are " free from psychological conflicts, they show a greater participation in what is real - the greater space that includes all spaces", (http://www.goggle.com)
Literary Concepts:
Existentialism: It is a movement in the 20th century emphasizing the active participation of the will, rather than the reason, in confronting the problems of a non-moral or absurd universe.
Conflict: The struggle or encounter within the plot of two opposing forces that serves to create reader interest and suspense. Conflict maybe external, between two characters (say, the protagonist and antagonist) or between one character and some aspect of his environment; internal, between two opposing ideas, feelings, or tendencies struggling within a single character, or a combination of both
1 comments:
i have a question. the story always mentioned Mother Clara's hairs and hairiness. what does it say about her character and how important is this to the story?
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